Excrutiating Psychological Pain Locker

The Messenger

Ok, so do not watch this movie if you are the type of viewer who demands a solid uplifting arc at the end of depressing films. You know the type. Hero is happy, hero gets screwed over then the last twenty minutes of the film hero finds a reason to carry on and ends up super stoked about life. Not this movie. It ends on a positive note, but it puts you through the wringer to get there.

In The Messenger Woody Harrelson plays Tony Stone, a casualty notification officer. He is assigned to notofy NOKs, or next of kin, that their loved ones have been killed in Iraq. Cheery stuff, right? Well add to that the fact that he is also assigned to train Ben Foster's character, Will Montgomery, to do the job with him. Montgomery is a recently returned war vet who was given a medal for heroism he is clearly, deeply uncomfortable having received.

Both men are ordered to adhere to strict protocol in notifying the families of the dead servicemen. In doing so they come off as unfeeling, uncaring griefbots. They speak in monotone, adhere to a script and under no circumstances touch the NOKs. This contrasts greatly with the scenes of the characters off duty. Their profoundly damaged psyches at having been in war are hammered every day as they serve as repositories for the outpouring of misery the next of kin aim at them. The wounds these two characters have are deep and festering and everyday their job of notifying only serves to reopen them.

The closest movie I can think of to compare this to is Copolla's Garden's of Stone. In both movies we get to see service men performing wartime duties on the home front. These are men who because of post traumatic stress disorder, a feeling that they are part of a unit that is doing its part while they are not, or just a general inability to reaclimate to civilian life feel a deep cognitive dissonance. The dissonance is most deeply underlined when one of the next of kin, played by Steve Buscemi asks the Stone and Montgomery why they did not die in Iraq. It is a question that both characters ask themselves every day.

The movie is not completely wrist slittingly depressing. There are some uplifting moments in the camaraderie between Stone and Montgomery. What is most important is that the movie is good and it is good because the parts that in a bigger budget movie might be over done are pitch perfect here. The director uses the right amount of restraint in order to show the notification scenes in a real present way. Every time the two soldiers notify a family one feels as if one were really watching it happen, not just a theatrical representation of it.

All of the soldier's feelings are completely internalized. So much of them is shut off that it as if they, too are as dead as the soldiers on whom they are reporting. The Messenger is an important movie in that it shows the real human cost of the war. Very few media outlets have done this and the deaths and injuries resulting from Iraq are too profound for us as a society to ignore. In ten or twenty years this movie will be remembered as one of the better films about the Iraq war.

Here is the film's trailer.

You should rent this movie if:

1. You are into smaller independent films.
2. You like your war movies nuanced.
3. You were for the war.

You should buy this movie if:

1. Woody Harrelson
2. You are a Steve Buscemi completist.
3. It really is a great character study, war movie and buddy film all rolled into one.

Here is a link to Amazon where you can buy The Messenger on DVD for reasonable price:



Here is a link to the Netfix Roku player. You can use this to stream netflix watch it instantly films and tv right to your television:

Don Draper: American Badass

Mad Men




Ok, I admit I am coming to this party tardy. But let me just tell all you other holdouts out there that if you have not seen Mad Men get this crap in your netflix queue pronto. I originally watched some episodes a couple of years ago out of order, did not understand what the show was trying to do and canned it. I recently sat down and watched the first nine episodes back to back and let me tell you, holy crap.

The show takes place in 1960 in a fictional advertising firm called Sterling-Cooper. Every character that works in this office and their significant others are so profoundly unhappy it is hard to even quantify the depth of their misery and yet none of the characters misses any opportunity to make themselves more unhappy than they are at any given moment.

The remarkable thing about this show is how funny it is. All of the screwed up attitudes people had fifty years ago about sex, race, equal rights, bigotry, the environment and communism are in full effect here and no one bats an eye. The secretaries exist to have sex with their bosses or prevent anyone else from knowing who they are having sex with. The booze and cigarettes are ubiquitous and the white upper class ad men are blissfully and naively unaware of the world that exists one inch beyond the tips of their noses.

This is the type of show that has a closeted gay character whom everyone else considers without irony to be a confirmed bachelor. Virtually every character is in some form of super denial and all are some parts tragic and comic. Don Draper, a partner and the creative director at Sterling-Cooper, is the main character. On the surface he is every man's ideal best buddy. Successful, handsome and smart; smooth is the word that best describes him. Draper, on closer examination, reveals that he has a great deal of inner turmoil that causes him to make potentially dangerous decisions with his personal life.

Draper's opposite number in the office is Joan Harris the office manager. This woman may be the best looking lady I have ever seen. Dressed in sixties clothing that accentuates her rather curvy bod she uses the office to push her own agenda. At times she seems to be out to have fun and at other times her more calculating nature shows through and it looks as if she is merely working at Sterling-Cooper in order to find a husband. Because she doesn't respect most of the men she works for this is a source of conflict for her. She wants to be taken seriously as a smart, capable woman, but she doesn't feel that she can abandon her role as sexy office sex bomb. That doing so would represent a loss of power.

It is these trade offs that dominate every show. Seeing the compromises that people make, the things that people value which today would be valueless gives one the feeling that they are eavesdropping on a dinner party their parents are having, hearing conversations lost and from long ago.

You should rent this TV Show if:

1. You want to see a truly excellent show.
2. You are under 40 and want to know what the swinging sixties were really like.
3. You think things are going badly and want to feel good about your life and relationships.

You should buy this TV Show if:

1. You want an example of what an excellent TV show looks like to pull out and watch everytime Win it in a Minute comes on.
2. Christina Hendricks is the only example of intelligent design I can think of.
3. Don Draper is James Bond, Superfly and Kung Fu all rolled into one.
4. Buy it.

Here is a link to Amazon where you can buy Mad Men Season 1 on DVD for reasonable price:

Gomorra

Go get your #$%^ing shine box!






Ok so this is a mafia movie unlike any you've ever seen. The movie is all about the Camorra. The Camorra is a hyperviolent criminal organization entrenched in the local politics, economics and social issues of the Italian provinces of Naples, Scampìa and Secondigliano. The Camorra are so ruthless and so decentralized that they are almost impossible for authorities to combat.

This movie tells the stories of five people who are affected by the Camorra showing how even people who are not criminals themselves often can not help but be tied to Camorra run enterprises. The direction is subtle and not a lot is spelled out for the audience. Still, the plot is pretty easy to understand. It does move more slowly than an American film would, but it also gives more background which helps a great deal in understanding why the Camorra are as large a problem as they are.

Another thing the film does well is show how the illegal actions of a small group of people an ocean away can have moral implication for us here in the U.S. The Camorra's involvement in the tailoring houses that produce haute couter dresses for the rich in our country are one example.

Here is the trailer.

The acting is good and one gets the feeling watching the film that a real glimpse behind the criminal curtain is being presented. Like most foreign films about twenty minutes could have been cut and it would have moved things along a bit better, but you can't have Falstaff and have him thin.

Rent this movie if:

1. You are into foreign films.
2. You are into gangster films.
3. You like watching dudes get shot.

Buy this movie if

1. You are a gangster film completist.
2. You are planning on taking over your neighborhood, illegally dumping toxic waste, drug dealing, loan sharking and politician bribing and you want to see how it is done.
3. The tanning salon scene.

If you are interested in buying this DVD here is a link to Amazon where you can get it at a reasonable price:

The Blind Side

I laughed, I cried, I tried to move in with a rich white lady.



Ok so if I said I did not like The Blind Side I would be lying to you. Being a hard bitten cynic all it really takes is the schmaltziest storyline having to do with a poor kid doing good and I am hooked like big mouthed bass. If this is also you, then rent this movie now, even before you finish reading this review. You may forget this movie in a week, but while you watch it you will be glued to it.

Why would you forget this movie so quickly? Let’s just say that it belongs to that group of movies based on a true story which you know was dramatically altered to make it more of a Hollywood movie. Things just fall into place in the film which are really complex. I mean if I need to go grocery shopping I have to run to the bank, organize two people’s schedules and take work calls the entire time. The family in the movie seemed to posses a magic wand which made their adoption of a gigantic black adolescent a pretty simple affair.

In short it is a feel good movie staring an attractive Sandra Bullock. It will not tax your brain cells or make you worry about much of anything. There are a few chuckles in the movie and no matter how much the story was changed the basic story did happen so you can hang your hat on that, I guess.

The acting was okay in some cases crappy in others. I’m talking to you, NCAA lady and boy who played precocious little boy. If you are alone rent it, cry, cheer and then tell no one of the two hours you spent in front of this movie. If you have a lady friend it would not be a bad movie to watch especially if you then go on to adopt a large black boy of your own. That will get you laid for sure.

Rent this movie if:

1. You are into inspirational sports films.
2. You have a milfy thing for the Bullock.
3. You are a sucker for the sap.

Buy this movie if:

1. You are a promise keeper.
2. You need to watch the movie twice in order to figure out that rich people have this superpower called money that pretty much let’s them do whatever the fuck they want with no advance thinking or possibility of suffering from repercussions.
3. Bullock, Bullock, Bullock!!!

If you are interested in buying this DVD here is a link to Amazon where you can get it at a reasonable price:

Good Hair

In my ongoing efforts to try to resusify and revivitate dvdestroyer in a larger attempt at dominating the internet and as a result all media I give you another post. This time I will be discussing Good Hair. In this documentary director Jeff Stilson and Chris Rock examine society’s views regarding the hair African Americans.

The documentary moves along quickly enough and provides a great deal of information I did not know specifically in regards to the time, expense and widespread use of weaves. The other areas the documentary illuminated were the size of the black hair market (gigantic), the international trade in Indian hair and the practice of using hair relaxers.

The best scene in the film is when Chris Rock tells this poindextery looking scientist guy that black women put sodium hydroxide in their hair. This after the scientist demonstrates how incredibly dangerous the chemical is. The scientist just stares at rock dumfounded.

This scene relates to the central theme of the movie which is that “good hair” is largely thought to be straight hair which is a subjective value judgement largely influenced by racial attitudes in media. The idea is not a new one, but in conjunction with all of the facts regarding how much black women spend on making their hair straight it is presented in an interesting and thoughtful way.

You should rent this movie if

1. You like a good documentary.
2. You like Chris Rock
3. You are even considering getting your hair relaxed.

You should buy this movie if:

1. You need to complete your collection of movies in which Paul Moooney has a scene.
2. You are not smart enough to watch a documentary and understand it the first time.
3. Actually that one scene with the scientist is pretty funny.

If you are interested in buying this DVD here is a link to Amazon where you can get it at a reasonable price:

Marsploitation Movie

or:

Marine sharpshooter swordfights Iraqi bartender, Aging whore looks on.


Ok. I am back after a lengthy absence. I will try to post a new movie review at least once a week. What brought me out of blogtirement, you ask? Oh, a little movie called "princess of mars." Here is the IMDB listing for the film:

Princess of Mars

As you can see by the credit that it was written and directed by Mark Atkins. I don't know who Mr. Atkins thinks he is but boy does he have some balls. Here's what Mr. Atkins decided to do. One day he thought it would be a great idea to take Antonio Sabato Jr.

For a good laff check out this guy's track record:

Antooooonioooooooo!

and aging former underage porn star Traci Lords

Likewise:

Traci Lords

And team them up to act in Edgar Rice Burrough's classic science fiction story The Princess of Mars. Now the last time I read this story was junior high school, but I don't seem to recall any of the plot elements in Mr. Atkins version of the story having been in the book. Because they weren't. The book was about some cavalry dude in the civil war being transported to Mars and getting to ultimately kill a bunch of dudes and bang the princess.
In Atkins' version a marine sharpshooter is teleported to mars where he stands around and watches people say things that don't affect the story. For emphasis he jumps. When standing around he is clearly in some studio. When jumping his cgi avatar is shot from such a distance that he most closely resembles a gnat.
The difference between the Atkins version and the burroughs version can best be seen by the comparison of the movie poster and the book cover

Movie poster



























Book cover:



























We can see here the total badassness of the book and the wtf wierd not really trying nature of the movie. Weird things about the movie include but were not limited to:

A lot of emphasis on people on mars eating pudding squirted out of maggot's butts

The planet in question not even being Mars proper but some other Mars 216 in the who gives a fuck cluster.

Dialogue that seemed almost intentionally avoiding anything that might sound quotable.

Seriously, when Antonio stabs a bug on some lizard guys back his reply is "thanks".

A desert planet with no apparent infrastructure, inhabited by warring nomads which still somehow contained industrial artifacts such as the oft mentioned pumping station.

A villian who only appears twice in the movie. In the beginning as an Iraqi bartender in a hut in the middle of the desert and as a mean Iraqi bartender on fakey Mars. Not exactly Darth Vader is what I'm driving at here.

Still, if you want a laugh I recommend this film for it's crappy dialogue, crappy set design and crappy direction, acting and everything else. Here's a clip:

Watch Antonio Jump

Anyway it's kind of like watching a bunch of LARPers who got a hold of final cut pro.

Shagadelic, Baby

Viva

I have to start out this review by saying that Anna Biller is my kind of gal. She stars as the titular Viva in a movie which is smarter than a box of Astrophysicists. Not only does she star in the movie, however, she was also its director, producer, writer, editor and production designer. Smart, sexy women like Biller are what the movie industry need more of.

Her movie is basically a parody of sexploitation films that were made in the seventies and often shown on channels like Cinemax in the eighties. The film has bad acting, heinous seventies fashion, bad dialogue, bad editing, unclear character motivation and a great deal of titillation. All of this is intentional, of course and quite funny. As you watch the plot unfold you can’t help get caught up in their wildly improbable misadventures.

The central plot is that two housewives, Viva and her friend Sheila played by Bridget Brno, decide to shuck their mundane lives and enter the thrilling world of the sexual revolution. They do this by becoming prostitutes. After they choose this path they become involved in orgies, date rape, regular rape, musical theatre and lesbianism among other things. The acting style is very surface oriented as if the actors are all canvases advertising only what is painted on them.

If you are old enough to have read playboy from the seventies or to have watched older softcore naughty movies then viva will definitely resonate with you. If you are into irony and want to see a bunch of naked people who are almost entirely detached from reality then this will grab you as well.

You should rent this movie if

1. You enjoy comedies about naked people.
2. You like movies that parody other movies.
3. You like ironic humor

You should buy this movie if

1. You are an ironic hipster
2. You own any Austin Powers movie
3. You have ever seen the film Superchick. And if you haven’t you need to.

If you are interested in buying this DVD here is a link to Amazon where you can get it at a reasonable price: