Shagadelic, Baby

Viva

I have to start out this review by saying that Anna Biller is my kind of gal. She stars as the titular Viva in a movie which is smarter than a box of Astrophysicists. Not only does she star in the movie, however, she was also its director, producer, writer, editor and production designer. Smart, sexy women like Biller are what the movie industry need more of.

Her movie is basically a parody of sexploitation films that were made in the seventies and often shown on channels like Cinemax in the eighties. The film has bad acting, heinous seventies fashion, bad dialogue, bad editing, unclear character motivation and a great deal of titillation. All of this is intentional, of course and quite funny. As you watch the plot unfold you can’t help get caught up in their wildly improbable misadventures.

The central plot is that two housewives, Viva and her friend Sheila played by Bridget Brno, decide to shuck their mundane lives and enter the thrilling world of the sexual revolution. They do this by becoming prostitutes. After they choose this path they become involved in orgies, date rape, regular rape, musical theatre and lesbianism among other things. The acting style is very surface oriented as if the actors are all canvases advertising only what is painted on them.

If you are old enough to have read playboy from the seventies or to have watched older softcore naughty movies then viva will definitely resonate with you. If you are into irony and want to see a bunch of naked people who are almost entirely detached from reality then this will grab you as well.

You should rent this movie if

1. You enjoy comedies about naked people.
2. You like movies that parody other movies.
3. You like ironic humor

You should buy this movie if

1. You are an ironic hipster
2. You own any Austin Powers movie
3. You have ever seen the film Superchick. And if you haven’t you need to.

If you are interested in buying this DVD here is a link to Amazon where you can get it at a reasonable price:

In Canada We Say Cracking The Cheese

The Promotion

Every once in a while you rent a movie and it not only doesn’t suck, but it kicks ass. The Promotion is just that kind of film. The story is very simple. Two guys going after the same job go after each other to get it. The great thing about this film is that it resisted the urge to make one guy a dick or an insufferable bastard. Both characters are sympathetic and while they are each kind of crazy, their insanity is of a mundane nature which is both totally believable and identifiable.

It doesn’t hurt that John C. Reilly and Sean William Scott play the two leads. Scott is a great everyman under pressure. His previous roles never let him perform up to his comedic potential, but in this film every indignity Scott’s character is forced to suffer is written all over his face. We feel for him, but we can’t help but laugh that his misfortunes aren’t our own. It is Scott’s character that narrates the film and through his character we see how desperation can make even a well intentioned man crack at the seems. John C, on the other hand plays a Canadian and Scott’s rival for the position of full manager of the new branch of Donaldsons grocery store. As a polite recovering addict from Canada his character shows us how good manners and a kind word for everyone can also be insidious and treacherous. As each man becomes more and more fixated on achieving his goal of the promotion his behavior becomes more cutthroat. The fact that everything they do to each other is perfectly believable only increases the cold-blooded nature of their competition.

A great supporting cast including Jenna Fisher, Lilly Taylor and Jason Bateman give the film a great reality that roots the story in everyday life. This is a very funny movie that in turns will have you laughing and squirming in your seat embarrassed for what its characters must endure. This is a must rent and a solid buy.

You should rent this movie if

1. You enjoy comedies where real people do real things that just happen to be funny.
2. You enjoyed the American version of the office.
3. You enjoyed Election or The Weatherman.
4. If you work for a living.

You should buy this movie if

1. You are big into John C. Reilly.
2. Blapples
3. Jason Bateman.

If you are interested in buying this DVD here is a link to Amazon where you can get it at a reasonable price:

Stand and Deliver . . . Wackiness!!!

Hamlet 2


Ok so the tone is off in places and all of the jokes don’t work as well as they could, but damn it, it’s a movie about a high school drama teach using inner city kids to make a musical sequel to Hamlet. Steve Coogan plays the drama teacher in question and there are more than enough jokes that do work to make this a successful film. When you add in the excellent supporting cast, namely Catherine Keener, David Arquette and the kids you get a lot of funny performances.

The end of the movie is a montage of the play within a play and that is truly something to see. As usual Coogan gets the character dead on and you really root for him even though his motivations are effed up from jumpstreet. Elisabeth Shue does a great job playing a version of herself.

This film is an indie movie, but comes off as something a lot more substantial. All in all a solid rent.


You should rent this movie if

1. If you are into offbeat comedies.
2. You are into inspirational teacher movies
3. You enjoyed Alan Partridge and Saxondale.

You should buy this movie if

1. You are big into actor Steve Coogan.
2. Hamlet and Jesus have a time machine.
3. Catherine Keener. Mrrrrrooowrrrr!

If you are interested in buying this DVD here is a link to Amazon where you can get it at a reasonable price:

Meaty Beaty Big and Funny

Saxondale Seasons One and Two

Steve Coogan is one of those very talented people that a less well adjusted sort might grow to be very envious of if that person weren’t so darn well adjusted. His grasp of character is superb and in any role he plays he seems to be able to find what is absurd about that character almost instinctively. As a writer he is able to put his creations into situations where their natural flaws and shortcomings stand out and call attention to themselves like beacons in a fog.

Just as in “I’m Alan Partridge” Coogan plays a man who is not entirely in step with the rest of the world. Tom Saxondale is an ex roadie who is now a middle aged owner of a pest control company. He is interesting because he is not a stereotype. He hates conformity, but is well read and a gentleman. He enjoys sticking it to the man, but as he himself is a businessman, this is limited mostly to driving around in his yellow Mustang 351 Fastback. Although he sometimes acts a bit buffoonish Saxondale is smart and competent at his job. All in all the character is a likeable one and Coogan and his cowriter Neil MacClennan allow us to laugh both at and with him.

A lot of what makes Saxondale funny is its specificity. For example, Tom is in love with Magz, an attractive, if rather rubenesque, lady played by the able comic actress Ruth Jones. Any shots taken at Magz’ weight are by characters towards whom we are meant to feel negatively. As far as Tom is concerned he is with Magz because he not only is in love with her, but in his words “She makes me come from my boots”. Their relationship is very real and nuanced.

The only complaint about the show is that there are only two series and each series has only six episodes. Just as I felt I had really gotten to know Tom Saxondale he was screaming off down the street, prog rock wailing, both birds flying. In an age of crap reality shows and sit coms that have to rely on laugh tracks Saxondale is a gift. It is a very funny comedy and on occasion it is a bit more than that.

This is a must rent for anyone who is a comedy fan. At thirty bucks shipped from Amazon for both seasons in one box it would be a pretty good purchase as well.

You should rent this movie if

1. You enjoy character driven comedies.
2. You enjoyed the office
3. You enjoyed Alan Partridge, Basil Fawlty and David Brent.

You should buy this movie if

1. You are big into Steve Coogan.
2. You want to have a very funny show to bang on whenever you need a chuckle.
3. We are talking six hours of quality comedy programming for under thirty United States Dollars. Geez, people, what else do you want?

If you are interested in buying this DVD here is a link to Amazon where you can get it at a reasonable price:

My Brain Cut In Two or Some Movies Can Only Be Saved By Nudity.

A Girl Cut In Two

All feminist ideology aside let’s all get on the same page vis-à-vis the fact that people of all stripes to a large extent watch movies in order to objectify people. What’s that? Do I still hear some feeble protest? Let me crush it for you with two words: Keanu Reeves. Does anyone think that if this guy looked like Gene Hackman his acting skills would have been enough to make him an internationally famous movie star? Whoa, indeed.

I bring this up because the movie, A Girl Cut In Two, had as its main character Ludivine Sagnier and although she is quite pretty she is not hot. Now normally this is not a concern of mine. If this movie were a thriller, an action flick or a science fiction movie I’d say no problem. Let the pretty girl kill the terrorists, criminals or aliens as the case may be. However, this movie is primarily about sexual attraction and its power to ruin people’s lives. Not only do I want to see the lead played by a Thandie/Hayek/Theron I want to see nudity.

Alas, I was to be denied on both counts. While the film told its largely hard to believe tale the camera only hinted at sexual congress and at no time did anyone’s clothes come close to off. Now before you start thinking “slow down Mr. Horny McTeenager”, let me hip you to the flick’s plot. The story is all about a pretty weathergirl named Gabrielle, that for some reason, EVERYONE in Paris is trying to bang. This population includes two guys who, for some effing reason hate each other. Gabrielle falls for one of these guys who is pushing sixty. She can’t live without this guy who is married to a hot chick who is only around forty. Then, the other dude, this annoying ass rich guy who dresses like a clown minus the long shoes, starts chasing her and will not give up. Finally for reason’s I can’t understand fossil man dumps Gabrielle and she, again inexplicably, marries the rich clown. The entire time you see people go into rooms to have sex, go under covers to have sex, go to special clubs to have sex, but you never see so much as a nipple.

The film is long, dull and not terribly credible in the way its characters act. At every plot point in the movie I would wonder why the characters weren’t doing things that made more sense in terms of actual human nature. Why these people were so bound up in making each other miserable was entirely too unclear, and it was too long and it was dull, very dull. There is a twist near the end that is a bit of a surprise, but it is ruined by the heavy handed ending. I would not rent or buy this movie unless you are really into some aspect of it such as the director or any of the actors. This film was boring.


You should rent this movie if

1. You can not sleep.
2. You enjoy sex films with no nudity.

You should buy this movie if

1. You are big into director Claude Chabrol.
2. You are big into actress Ludivine Sagnier.
3. You have a collection of movies where mildly attractive women simulate oral sex under the covers on sixty year old dudes for inexplicable reasons.


This film is not available from Amazon

"Homeboy turned out to be a major league fecal freak" - Easy Wind

Things To Do in Denver When You’re Dead

Let me start out by saying this is a good movie. Some people will tell you otherwise. Do not listen to them. They are haters. The movie is somewhat quirky in the way a lot of movies that came out right after Pulp Fiction were. It is not just a quirkiness for quirkiness sake, however. The movie is very well constructed and has a some very good performances by both its principal and supporting cast members.

The story is that of ex-gangster Jimmy “The Saint” Tosnia, played by Andy Garcia. This ex-gangster is desperately trying to go the way of the straight and narrow. He has started a company for terminally ill people so that they can record messages to their descendants. The business is not going well. One day Christopher Walken’s goons pull our man back into the fold to do an action. Not a piece of work, mind you, just an action. When this goes south, and it really goes south, all of Jimmy’s crew get whacked.

The central conceit of the film is that the execution order comes down the chain of command so everyone involved knows they are all living on borrowed time. The rest of the film has much to do with how we all deal with the inevitable, our own death. Each member of Jimmy’s crew handles it differently and therein lies much of the film’s art. Everyone who has screen time does a lot with their characters and if you like anyone in this movie you will probably like this movie.

Now the disclaimer: a buddy screened this with me and some of the dialogue, mainly between the two love interests, was admittedly a bit corny. I was able to deal with it, but my friend was more offended than the time I suggested Mad Max be remade with midgets and called Mad Midget Max. In fact, while some of the dialogue is a bit cheesy, most of it is stylized and quite interesting.

This movie is a solid rent and solid buy if your DVD collection includes Pulp Fiction or True Romance.

You should rent this movie if

1. You like offbeat crime capers.
2. You enjoy stylized dialogue.
3. You like character actors.

You should buy this movie if

1. You own any Tarantino films.
2. You are a Steve Buscemi, Christopher Walken or Andy Garcia completist.
3. You want to watch a well made character driven story that is both poignant and funny and you want to watch it more than once.

If you are interested in buying this DVD here is a link to Amazon where you can get it at a reasonable price:

Zombies!!!! Yawwwwwwwwwn!!!!

John Romero’s Diary Of The Dead

Wow. Let me just say that I love zombie movies. In fact, you could say that the default setting on my DVD player is Zombie. I have seen a lot of them as well and even the ones that aren’t that great are still pretty good. I love slow zombies, fast zombies crawling zombies, hopping zombies, angry zombies, ancient zombies, hipster zombies and well, you get the picture. I mainly love the zombie movie because you can take zombies and cast them as symbolic of any number of social ills. In Dawn of the dead the zombies were consumers mindlessly devouring everything in their frenzy to gain access to a shopping mall. In Day of the dead the zombies were army guys and symbolic of our vast military industrial complex gone horribly wrong.

John Romero’s Diary Of The Dead continues this tradition. In Diary the zombies serve as the subject of the film’s message which is very anti-media. The main character spends the whole film filming the zombies for a documentary even at the expense of helping his friends. This is one place where the movie goes horribly wrong. In the first place the whole film within a film documenting a terrifying flight from a monster was done much better in Cloverfield. In the second place, the character’s motivations make no sense. If anyone were in the middle of a full on zombie onslaught they would either fight or run, not keep filming. The main character literally lets his friends get chased around by zombies while he films them. What a dick.

In addition to a lack of proper character motivation the film has really crappy dialogue. I can’t tell you how many times actors stared at one another and said things that no one would ever say, ever. Ever. The whole thing was pretty low budget, but even still it looked like they kind of skimped on the zombie attacks.

What else? Oh yeah, no shotguns. Can you believe that crap? Not one scene where a big dude with a pump shotgun blows a zombie head clean of its body. There were also no shots of hordes of zombies coming in waves after the main characters. Not a good movie. I almost stopped watching after thirty minutes. I would avoid this film.

You should rent this movie if

1. You don’t like yourself very much
2. You enjoy melodramatic, overwrought dialogue.
3. You don’t believe me.

You should buy this movie if

1. You have a collection of crappy movies.
2. You are a John Romero completist.

If you are interested in buying this DVD here is a link to Amazon where you can get it at a reasonable price:

I'll Take The Rapists For 500, Trebeck!

A Boy and His Dog

Here at Dvdestroyer we do not often speak in terms of absolutes. This, however, is absolutely the best movie about a post-apocalyptic rapist ever. The film takes place in the year 2024 after World War IV in which the entire earth, including what was once the American west, has been pulverized by nuclear weapons. Our hero is Vic, played rather well by The Don Johnson. The Don Johnson does a good job as a young charming “solo” trying to survive in post apocalyptic Phoenix, Arizona. The film is, however, a buddy movie and The Don Johnson’s buddy is his dog, Blood, with whom he shares a telepathic rapport. Both meander around the irradiated wasteland, Vic stealing food and Blood sniffing out females for Vic to forcibly copulate with.

One such female is Quilla June Holmes who, through a series of misadventures, lures Vic down to a subterranean society with food and safety, but with its own set of problems. This movie is a very low budget film, but is shot with an extremely skillful eye towards the verisimilitude of the post kaboom scenario. In other words everything in the movie has a real feel for being of and not just in the post-apocalyptic reality. The movie was done in 1974 and has a desolate nature that makes one want to call one’s congressman to ask if one’s country is doing anything at all about nuclear arms proliferation.

There are several twists and turns in the story. The movie is funny although the subject matter is not. The acting is good and often very good. It has Jason Robards, for cryin’ out loud. The direction is excellent as is the cinematography. The reason you need to see this flick apart from the fact that it is awesome is that it has influenced a ton of other films and video games. Mad Max and The Fallout series are but a couple of examples. This is a must rent and a necessary part of any science fiction DVD collection.

You should rent this movie if

1. You like science fiction movies.
2. You like post-apocalyptic science fiction movies.
3. You like post-apocalyptic science fiction movies that kick ass!

You should buy this movie if

1. You consider yourself to be a science fiction fan and
2. You have a DVD collection.

If you are interested in buying this DVD here is a link to Amazon where you can get it at a reasonable price:

The Bourne Ultimatum

When I grow up I want to be a double naught spy. I mean, check out the starter package: martial arts skills, world language skills. spy skills, freerunning skills, unlimited funds and the list goes on and on. The plot is pretty simple if you’ve been following the previous two movies. Jason Bourne played by Matt Damon is an unstoppable killing machine who is convinced he has been brainwashed because certain parts of his memory are missing. In the course of the film he must fight rogue elements and not so rogue elements of the CIA to get his brizain strizaight.

One thing that kept me from watching this for so long is the director’s camera style. I generally do not like the camera tied to a paint shaker style of cinematography that this movie and its predecessor used. In this particular film it was done as well as it could have been, however. As opposed to Supremacy, Ultimatum lets you see most of what is going on at crucial times. Car chases are coherent as are the fight scenes. Both reach a level of badass that you don’t often see. Jeff Imada did the fight stunt coordination and you can see the authenticity in the moves the actors are doing.

Basically what you got here is a much better than average action drama. Your girlfriend/wife will fall asleep in fifteen minutes, but you dudes will be pretty much into it until the somewhat predictable if satisfying ending. This is a solid rent. I can’t even really poke fun at it. The action is so well done that it might not be a bad movie to have in your permanent collection.

You should rent this movie if

1. You like action movies.
2. You like spy movies.
3. You like Matt Damon

You should buy this movie if

1. Dude's head gets totally shot by a sniper rifle.
2. There's this one scene where Matt Damon breaks onto this dude's office and the dude thinks Matt Damon is at this train station and follows him there, and Matt Damon calls him from the office just to eff with him and Dude is super pissed.
3. Matt Damon steals a cop car and goes effing nuts with it.
4. Matt Damon kicks this one dude’s ass hard. Dude.

If you are interested in buying this DVD here is a link to Amazon where you can get it at a reasonable price:

The Notorious NYC

The Wackness

Ah, the coming of age movie where the viewer gets to relive the past in all it’s romanticized glory. The Wackness delivers on this front, but is better than most such movies for a few reasons. The movie is set in Manhattan in 1994 and as such, is a period movie. The writer’s meticulous attention to detail regarding time and place gives the movie a texture which draws the viewer in. Then there are the performances. Josh Peck who plays the lead is quite good. Also da flicks gots da Sir Ben Kingsley.

In addition to Peck and Kingsley good work is done by Famke Janssen, Mary-Kate Olsen and Olivia Thirlby. All serve to confuse Peck’s character Luke Shapiro who is trying to grapple with life’s pain as he approaches his eighteenth birthday and college. Oh, and his extra curricular activity? He’s a full time marijuana salesperson in Manhattan. Kingsley is his shrink and client and Thirlby is his love interest, client and the step daughter of his shrink. Manhattan is also a character and as in a lot of Woody Allen films it plays a large part in the movie.

No one in this movie is particularly happy and most of the film deals with pain and how we deal with it. For most of the movie Shapiro seeks to avoid pain by avoiding others. He grows to examine whether this is a viable way of living. The DVD has a few extras including two episodes of a cable access show staring the character of Shapiro. These are pretty amusing.

The movie is pretty funny at times. It is well written and a solid rent.

You should rent this movie if

1. You enjoy smart coming of age dramas.
2. You enjoy period pieces set within the last two decades.
3. Ben Kingsley

You should buy this movie if

1. You were really into hip hop in the mid nineties.
2. Ben Kingsley humping Mary-Kate is something you would like to see more than once.
3. Thandie Newton*
4. You know someone approaching the end of high school who is a bit down in the dumps. This would make a fine graduation gift.

*Thandie Newton is not actually in this movie.

If you are interested in buying this DVD here is a link to Amazon where you can get it at a reasonable price:

I know It's only RocknRolla, But I Like It.

RocknRolla

Thandie Newton is in this movie so you are all going to have to forgive me a certain lack of blogalistic integrity when I tell you that RocknRolla is a pretty solid flick. If you liked Snatch, and if you did not then you are dumb, and if you liked Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, then you will appreciate what I consider to be Guy Ritchie’s third good movie.

Thandie Newton. Mmmmmmmm.

The movie is all about modern London gangsters, their cohorts, competition and constant dramas. The plot is a typically circular one just as in the two aforementioned flicks. There are plot twists, loopbacks and full roundabouts. None of them too difficult to follow and most are pretty funny. There are impenetrable accents galore, psychotic Russian gangsters and mutilation by crawfish, off screen, of course.

Thandie Newton. Thandie Newton. Thandie Newton. Thandie Newton. Thandie Newton.


Thandie Newton.

Also, there are good performances. You will recognize Idris Elba from The Wire and Jeremy Piven from, well, everything. Gerard Butler is likeable as the low level criminal One Two. And did I mention that Thandie Newton is in this one? A vision of loveliness, she plays the femme fatale well. Speaking of acting this movie has a very nice supporting cast. Ritchie always casts actors who are either just starting out or who don’t have a lot of American fame. So if you are an American you get to see loads of really good actors without being distracted by who they might have played in other movies. You get to completely immerse yourself in their characters. This is especially true for actors like Nonzo Anozie who did such a good job playing Tank. The film is loaded with such performances.

All in all it isn’t quite up to the standard of Ritchie’s earlier work, but it is better than most movies and you will remember it long after you seen it. A solid rent. The movie ends by promising a sequel and that is a good thing.

Thandie Newton

You should rent this movie if:

1. You enjoy light hearted crime caper movies.
2. You liked Snatch or Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels.
3. You like stylish films with great character actors.
4. Thandie Newton.

You should buy this movie if:

1. You already own Lock Stock and Snatch and want to host a Guy Ritchie Marathon.
2. Thandie Newton
3. Thandie Newton

If you are interested in buying this DVD here is a link to Amazon where you can get it at a reasonable price:

Look, up in the sky! It's a wacky french dude and he's killing it!

Man on Wire

This Philippe Petit dude is off his rocker. I mean he crosses the Sydney harbor bridge on a tightrope wire, does the same thing for Notre Dame and repeats this stunt by crossing between The World Trade Center towers. This guy is as skilled as he is crazy, however, and watching him perform is like watching any great artist. In these clips you do not see the wire that supports Pitet. You only see him floating miraculously in the air.

The inherent danger of his stunts is so great that even though Petit himself is in the film describing his life and the various crossings he has made, the viewer is still afraid for Pitet's life every time the movie shows you a clip of him hundreds of feet in the air supported by little more than a wire.

The archival footage of a young Petit carrying his girlfriend across a wire in his backyard, the interviews with his “gang” as they recall planning the stunt and Petit’s own insights as to why he took such risks are all fascinating. When the movie gets to the footage of Pitet floating across the distance between The Twin Towers the film becomes sublime and you, watching, float with him.

You should rent this movie if

1. You enjoy well-crafted, fascinating documentaries.
2. You want to see a movie that is uplifting.

You should buy this movie if

1. You like real life stories that transcend real life.
2. You own any other documentaries.
3. You are thinking of wire walking as a career choice.

If you are interested in buying this DVD here is a link to Amazon where you can get it at a reasonable price:

You got your Vagina in my Crocodile. You got your Crocodile in my Vagina.

Tokyo Gore Police

Right. Feeling a little woozy right now because my effing brain just got raped by Tokyo Gore Police. Imagine the movie Robocop combined with a great deal of Eraserhead, a half gallon of acid and two peyote buttons. This movie is built upon the premise that a girl with a crocodile’s mouth for legs is anything anyone’s psyche could ever survive seeing*.

The movie uses ironic future commercials as a framing device much as does Robocop, exists in the future and is quite horrific. A Future cop named Ruka played by Eihi Shiina of Audition fame is assigned to hunt down genetically altered criminals who can turn their wounds into weapons. The typical blood firehose effects abound and the plot makes little sense.

As horrific as the movie is, it is actually a bit boring. It is not funny enough to laugh at or with and the pacing is not fast enough to hold the viewer’s attention. The images are completely freakotonic, however. Upon seeing a human being splayed open and turned into a living chair one viewer was heard praying quietly in the corner.

You should rent this movie if:

1. You like to see shocking images or
2. Tokyo shock cinema is your thing

You should buy this movie if:

1. Crocodile vagina
2. Chainsaw battles

*Seriously, it was really effed up. There was this part where this dude goes to this whorehouse and gets tortured and then escapes, but on his way out of the torture room this chick chases him down only instead of legs the chick has a full fledged set of crocodile jaws and the croc's gullet is her vajyushe. It clamps down on the dude's leg and well. yick.

If you are interested in buying this DVD here is a link to Amazon where you can get it at a reasonable price:

The Ghost Annoyer

Ghost Town

Ricky Gervais is a comedic genius. Unfortunately, he did not write Ghost town or direct it. This means that at best Ghost town could only be a pretty good romantic comedy buoyed by the comedic acting of Gervais, Tea Leone and Greg Kinnear, and that is exactly what it is.

Ghost town is a guy who talks to ghosts movie and the twist here is that the guy in question is a misanthrope. It is not a new idea, but the writer and director do a good job of presenting it without making it seem too schmaltzy. The principals are good in it and the supporting cast is also good. Asif Mandvi is funny as a coworker of the people hating Gervais. This would be a very good date movie. It only makes you think a bit, but it does make you think.

The film’s main message that other people’s lives must matter to he who wants to be happy is presented in funny way and at no time during the movie did I ever have the urge to vomit.

I saw this on Blu ray and the disc extras were typical behind the scenes stuff, clips of Gervais corpsing and a commentary track with Gervais and the director.

You should rent this movie if:

1. You want something light but not insubstantial to watch with that special someone.
2. You really like Ricky Gervais.
3. Tea Leoni . . . mmmmmmmmm.

You should buy this movie if:

1. You have a lot of cats.
2. You are a guy who talks to ghosts movie completist.

If you are interested in buying this DVD here is a link to Amazon where you can get it at a reasonable price:

She was a fast machine. She kept her motor clean. She was the best damn woman that I etcetera, etcetera, you get the picture.

Machine Girl

Where does one start with a movie in which the heroine has a bloody great gatling gun for an arm? Let’s just say that if you like violence, Japanese junior high school girls, the yakuza and gatling guns this might be the movie for you. The movie is pretty fast moving. It is funny and confusing and fantastic simultaneously. It is at the very least a must rent.

The star of the film is a first time actress. Minase Yashiro is pretty darn cute and for newcomer she does a pretty good job of playing a sweet normal junior high school girl turned homicidal “demon”. As Ami Hyuga she is both vulnerable and invulnerable. Her characterization is the basis of the film.

Her transformation is triggered by her brother’s death at the hands of a local gang of bullies. After her attempts to seek out justice through socially acceptable channels fails she goes on a mother-effing rampage killing everyone who is connected with the demise of her only brother. The revenge is meted viciously and one might say cruelly, but I say go, machine girl, go!

Surely, you may be thinking, a junior high school girl’s ability to create madness and mayhem would be somewhat limited. Allow me to tell you, dear reader, that the character of Ami is violent on a mansonian scale. Her bloodlust equal to that of any four or five Vikings one might name. When Ami uses her machine gun to sever limbs, eviscerate torsos, flay skulls and just generally cuisinart denizens of the local underworld, it is not shit which hits the fan, it is blood, and I mean gallons of it. The blood in Machine Girl does not flow. It does not run. It geysers forth as if pumped by high pressure jets. It is glorious.

Did I mention she goes effing berserk?

The violence, however, is not the only thing which draws me to this movie like a fat man to a convention of fat men where that particular man might be the keynote speaker. In addition to all the over the top kills we have a finely developed sense of camp lunacy that permeates the film’s characters. The gang names are super wacky, their motivations and methods of attack are as funny as they are implausible and the fashions kill. Leopard prints and feather boas abound.

In short, this movie begins with people being slaughter housed by a bionic gatling gun girl and ends with a full on yakuza/ninja battle royal. There are gatling gun arms, chainsaw feet and head chopping hats. Blood is everywhere. People are suffering in this movie. Shit is biblical.

You should rent this movie if:

1. You have low self esteem and can’t give yourself permission to have nice things.

You should buy this movie if:

1. Happiness is at all important to you.
2. Gatling gun + Japanese junior high school girl = all that is true and good in this world.

If you are interested in buying this DVD here is a link to Amazon where you can get it at a reasonable price:

Girls Will Be Boys and Boys Will Be Girls

Sukeban Boy

Where to begin? I guess it’s best just to leap right in. Sukeban Boy is an hour long exercise in middle child, look at me be naughty, sexual farce, surreal freakshow antics. The story is apparently based on a popular Japanese comic. Superman apparently is not entertaining enough over there. Perhaps, because unlike the hero of Sukeban Boy, Supes is not a biologically correct boy who looks and sounds exactly like a junior high school girl.

Yep. That’s the premise. Sukeban Boy’s father, a gangster, enrolls him in a girls school where he is forced to undergo humiliation classes. The weirdness is ratcheted up another notch when Sukeban Boy meets and must fight various gangs. Imagine The Crips and The Bloods if The Crips and The Bloods were both comprised of half naked Japanese girls. By half naked I of course mean boobies. And a few butts. In fact these gangs have names like the Pantyhose League, the No-Bra League, and - of course - the Full Strip League. There is also a fair amount of gore. Here I refer to bio-organic machine gun boobies. All of this mixed up together in a milkshake of odd. The particulars of the plot are somewhat unimportant as it all blurs together at about the half hour mark.

The movie does have pretty ladies in it if you are into Japanese chicks and it does have weirdness in it if you are into the Tokyo Shock type of movie. What disappointed me about this movie is that it seemed too consciously dumb. It was as if it were trying to outwierd itself just for strangeness’ sake. In fairness to the director this is probably because it was based on a Japanese comic and the comic’s plot points were screwed up from jumpstreet.

At an hour it is not a bad watch. It would probably play best at a party . . . with drinking.

You should rent this DVD if:

1. You like watching Japanese girls naked and don’t have the internet. Or if
2. your sense of irony is more highly developed than your sense of smell or if
3. you want to throw an interesting party.

You should buy this DVD if:

1. You are into shocking and bizarre Japanese comic sex farces.
2. You have an unhealthy attachment to watching Japanese girls naked.
3. Machine gun boobies.

If you are interested in buying this DVD here is a link to Amazon where you can get it at a reasonable price:

A Dingo Ate My Sadness

Frisky Dingo - Season 2

Let me start this post by saying I loves me some Adult Swim. With very few exceptions (12 Oz. Mouse, Assy McGee, Xavier: Renegade Angel) I find most of what they put out to be badass. I especially enjoyed Sealab 2021 mainly due to the excellent writing on the series. The same creative team, which wrote Sealab, Adam Reed and Matt Thompson, created and writes Frisky Dingo and the only thing that is different is that Frisky Dingo is a whole lot better.

The second season finds Xander Crews and evil villain Killface locked in a life or death struggle to . . . become the next President of the United States. Excellent satire is made of almost every aspect of recent real campaigns. Everything from their over reliance on spurious polling data, the absurdity of political punditry and the role of race in modern elections has a funny parallel in the Frisky Dingoverse. The twelve episodes of season two which originally aired from 10-16-06 to 3-23-08 skewer the modern electoral process while simultaneously being really dumb in a really smart way. Or is that really smart in a dumb way?

I don’t know.

I do know that Frisky Dingo season Two is as funny a show as I’ve seen in a long time and I only have a few complaints about the DVD. The first gripe is that there are only twelve episodes. This amount more than justifies buying the disk, but at eleven minutes per episode they are like crack. A group of us watched all of them in one go. We could not stop.

Gripe two is that the special features were limited to an Xtacles skit and a campaign ad by Killface. The Xtacles are Xander Crews army of guys who everyone thinks are robots due to their robot armor. In this skit they have a confrontation with Mr. Ford whose house they have rammed with their Helicarrier. It is a funny skit and I wanted more of them. The campaign ad is really just a funny ad for the DVD.

So to sum up. Frisky Dingo Season two. Funny. No, very effing funny.

Boosh!


You should buy this DVD if:

Everyone needs a copy of this DVD in his or her permanent collection.

You should rent this DVD if:

You are poor.


If you are interested in buying this DVD here is a link to Amazon where you can get it at a reasonable price:

The Message is getting a bit old.

Chris Rock: Kill the Messenger

I put this into my Netflix queue hoping for something like Bigger and Blacker, Bring the Pain or at least Never Scared. Unfortunately, while Rock's delivery still retains its comedic punch his subject matter seems somewhat retread. I only counted a handful of laugh out loud moments and although there were quite a few other jokes that were funny, I felt that Messenger's set did not quite clear the bar set by Rock's earlier work.

As usual, Rock tackles race as his main subject. In one section where he covers when, where and how white people might be allowed to use the word "nigger" he seems to be going over ground both he and other comics have trampled flat a long time ago. I also did not care for the manner in which the DVD was presented. The DVD is composed of three separate sets Rock performed in London, Johannesburg and New York. Usually these are intercut seamlessly, but in several places a phrase from each venue will be played in sequence. This has the effect of making Rock look as if he is repeating himself and has a negative impact on the jokes in which it is used.

I did not hate this DVD and if this set were playing on HBO and if I happened to be in the room I might happily watch it. However, I did not love this DVD and am only lukewarm about having rented it.

You should rent this movie if:

You are into Chris Rock and don't mind that this isn't his best work.

You should buy this DVD if:

1. You are a Chris Rock fanatic or
2. You are a serious comedy nerd.

If you are interested in buying this DVD here is a link to Amazon where you can get it at a reasonable price: